I heart complaint letters

Of all the snidey remarks I’ve made in complaint letters over the years, it is this one that makes me the most proud:

To make this process as simple for you as I can, I have enclosed everything. I trust that this will be everything you need, as it is everything. Please read it carefully and refrain from responding with any further apathetic, deferring drivel such as that which I have had to endure so far.